Thursday, May 27, 2010

Last day!

Remember not that long ago when it all began? Well guess what, it's here!

I'm so excited! I can't describe what I feel, because what I feel doesn't stay constant. It's a swirl of emotion that though laced with the sadness of several goodbyes, could probably be summed up by "WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

I will blog next time I have the internets at my fingertips. And I imagine the person writing that first post in the next chapter of my life being a completely new me. And that makes me happy.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

*GULP*... I mean... GREAAAAT!

I had one of those rare revelations today. I had been talking to my friend Beth. She was shooting out good ideas left and right, like she's won to do, when she suddenly realized that a new teammate of hers had just moved here from Barcelona where she had worked in Zara's lingerie department. She told me she would talk to her and give me call back. Unfortunately, her new friend didn't know anyone outside of that niche department, but assured her that with this job on my resume, I wouldn't have any problem getting a job at any of the major apparel companies based there.

The news itself wasn't the revelation of which I write.
That came immediately after, in my reaction. My stomach fell about thirty feet. I felt a little nauseous. What could only be described as panic swept over me. But wait! This is good news! Job! Yay! Not abandoning my career for which I spent four plus years and a lifetime of student loan payments! Yay! Yay? Yay.

It really drove home the extent to which my experience in this company has affected me. Refer to the handy photographic time lapse below.

Here I am as a happy-go-lucky intern. I'm ever so confident, just ready to get my foot in the door and start getting my creative on.

Here I am after my first interview for my current job. I'm so ecstatic to be so close to being not only a real, self-sufficient adult, but to making a living by creating clothing for the masses! Score!

Here I am at the amazing holiday party the company throws us each year. This year Girl Talk was even headlining. But something just isn't right. If you look closely you can almost make out in my eyes the gaping whole where my soul passion used to be.

And inevitably, like so many others before me, I was bound and broken, lying naked on the floor. Wait... that's Natalie Imbruglia.

I won't go into any more detail about the whoas of doing my time in this job, at least not in such a public forum, at least not right now, but this is some important backstory. Yes, I'm off to be with the man of my dreams. I'm not moving to Spain to get away, I'm moving there because it's our best option. But I am almost equally excited to leave this segment of life behind. Megan is right. In the grand scheme of things, it's just a fragment, a glitch really. And once I take time to recollect myself, and remind myself repeatedly that it's not like this everywhere, that there is a possibility of being content in doing what I'm doing, but for the right people, I'll be ready to embrace the opportunities that are out there. It'll be oh so interesting, for me at least, to see how that transition unfolds in this blog.


In looking through my enormous cache of photos in iPhoto, I came across so, so, SO many photos that remind me of how many good times there have been along the way. In all honesty, I believe this whole experience will have been vital in my future success, as a designer, writer, or whatever that might be!

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

What is your stance on Tuesdays?

Sometimes I stumble upon two seemingly related status updates in a row that jar me a little bit, as the posters of said updates are, as far as I know, completely unrelated. This morning's incident wasn't as mind-blowing as the time everyone I know started spontaneously shouting out colours (I can't recall whether I had figured out that it was a breast cancer awareness stunt yet when I proudly proclaimed "Aqua-marine!",) but I thought I'd share anyway.

Are you a Tuesday lover or a Tuesday hater? I'm still undecided. Oh, wait. It just started raining. Make that a hater.

Tomorrow is Wednesday. Wednesday is hump day. And only two days away from Friday. Which is my last Friday at work...

Sorry. I got distracted by Daniel Bedingfield's "Gotta Get Through This" blasting in my head.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

One Month

Two weeks from today, at this very moment, I'll be nearing my hometown of Midland, Michigan. I will have left Columbus for good! It's strange, but starting to feel real.

Not having the internet isn't quite as bad as I expected, despite seriously missing out on Buffy mini marathons with my Shelly via Skype. It turns out when you don't have the world wide web to fall back on, you start to get little things done here and there.

Today I went through all of my CDs and the DVDs I hadn't shipped to Spain already. I threw away all of the cases and organized them neatly in a CD book. Little fissions of clutter have been emerging all over my room, and then slowly dissipating. I'm upping my roots and preparing for flight.

I miss my dear roommates madly. I didn't expect to ever have the opportunity to live completely on my own again, ever. It's not how I remember it. It's lonely. And my cat is not having any of this bullshit. He's needy on a level I've never seen before. Poor guy.

I'm sitting at a Starbucks sipping on an iced white chocolate mocha, waiting for David to call me on iChat. It'll be great to see him face to face again. And it's even greater than exactly one month from today I will be on my way to see him in person!

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Roller Coaster (oohh oohh oohh)

It's absurd how quickly I can switch from feeling like June 16th will never come to being completely overwhelmed by how soon I'll be saying goodbye. I started thinking about this odd emotional seesaw effect. Like a wannabe writer is prone to do, I searched for an adequate analogy. Immediately I was drawn to the most overused, yet universally relevant emotional metaphor: the roller coaster.

When most people describe love, life or what have you as a roller coaster, generally they're drawing a picture of the ride itself; crawling up toward the peak, the exhilarating dive, maybe even corkscrewing through a tangled mess of loops. That doesn't quite sum up what I feel. I'm thinking of the big picture here.

My metaphor begins when you first get in line, an unfortunate yet unavoidable part of the pastime. At first you're fidgety. You wish you could bypass the line all together, eager for the thrill at the end. As you get closer, however, shit starts to get real. You look way up at that mountain of steel and start to feel nervous. All of a sudden, you're not quite sure you're ready. You
know you're going to enjoy the ride, you are in this line for a reason. But with that huge leap looming ominously before you, you can't help but feel a jolt of panic.

I'm teetering somewhere between these first two steps, which explains perfectly (to me) the bipolarity as of late. But in just weeks—weeks!—I will be climbing into that cart (boarding the first plane), inching my way up that steep, steep incline (boarding planes two and three), and just when I don't think I can take the anxiety anymore, I'll reach the peak (land in Barcelona), and then I'll be smiling and screaming simultaneously as I enjoy the roller coaster of life that I've been so desperate to start.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010


fols \ˈfōls\
1 : not genuine, intentionally untrue; as coined by two silly Spaniards.
2: what I've been lately in regard to posting daily.

I know I've failed miserably. I really need to work on that. I was going to apologize and then immediately follow with some kind of excuse like "Every day is the same, I go to work, die a little bit from boredom, come home, blah blah blah..." Basically, most days I really don't have much to say. And even when I have, like in the case of Megan and Evan's going buh-bye party, I either lack the requisite photographic goodies, or can't seem to elaborate beyond "This happened." I find myself continuously having to reinvent my intentions with this blog. Who care's if I post a random paragraph about nothing? Nobody's critiquing, right? So from now on I'm going to be more adamant about dumping my day-to-day life on you, from the most amusing anecdotes to my most pointless musings. It's no time hold back!

Part of realising my goal of posting more frequently is going to involve blogging from work, which I just so happen to be doing right now. My theory is that if I let my non-work activities accumulate just gradually enough, by the time people notice I'm not doing anything productive it will be too close to the end for anyone to care. Here's a piece of advice: never put in your notice of resignation five weeks in advance.

Unfortunately, this wholehearted pledge comes just a few days before I go on my last great American road trip (for a long while). I'll be heading up to Wisconsin to visit one of my best friends from college, and then heading down to Chicago for a farewell weekend of fun with my cousin, Shelly.

I will resume with the blog as soon as I get back, hopefully with many photos and stories to share. I will be posting from work yet again, as I'm going to be (DUN DUN DUUUUNNNNN) without internet. Yes, Megan and Evan will be taking their modem with them, and along with it my only link to the outside world. Visits to friends' houses will be abundant, I imagine, as well as marathons of the movies that I haven't yet shipped to Spain. Still, I don't really think I have a grasp on what I'm in for. We all know how devastating the lack of internet can be:

Monday, May 3, 2010

You Win Some, You Lose Some

This week, I am saying goodbye to a dear friend. Normally, saying goodbye to the person who's been your closest friend in a 300 mile radius for over two years, and your roomie for a good chunk of that, would be devastating. This time, it's bittersweet, heavy on the SWEET! This is because both of us are moving on to better things. We're both chasing our dreams.

You've all probably heard the whole spiel about how different friends come into your life for different lengths of times, but that all come into your life for a reason. Though the time for our friendship as we know it is coming to an end, I know we'll keep in touch. We've both heard each other talking so much about the next chapter in our respective lives that we can't help but be curious as to how it'll unfold! And as for the reason for her coming into my life? Megan's taught me so much. I'm absolutely certain that I needed her, and am blessed to have had her during these pivotal years on the brink of adulthood.

Just when I was beginning to believe that the "real world" meant "stagnant absurdity", Megan reminded me that you can always mix things up. Uninspired by your monotonous career? Hop in the car and take a road trip to Anywhere! (Just make sure to stop and visit Somewhere on the way!) She taught me that no matter how little time your work allows you, you have to live life on your terms.

Seeing myself through Megan's unique and pristine perspective also helped me isolate things about myself that had really needed work. (Some of which I will continue to work on for years to come, if not my whole life.) Megan never sugar coats things, I mean never sugar coats things. :) She calls it like she sees it. When she has something to say, it's worth listening to, because it's going to be very well thought out and based on real facts and experiences, not assumptions or bias.

I think even Megan would agree that I've grown a lot as a person since I moved to Ohio. I just hope that she knows how much of a factor she's been in that process.

In summary, you are an amazing person, Megan; and by far the most deserving of all the joy and success your next chapter will bring!