Thursday, May 20, 2010

*GULP*... I mean... GREAAAAT!

I had one of those rare revelations today. I had been talking to my friend Beth. She was shooting out good ideas left and right, like she's won to do, when she suddenly realized that a new teammate of hers had just moved here from Barcelona where she had worked in Zara's lingerie department. She told me she would talk to her and give me call back. Unfortunately, her new friend didn't know anyone outside of that niche department, but assured her that with this job on my resume, I wouldn't have any problem getting a job at any of the major apparel companies based there.

The news itself wasn't the revelation of which I write.
That came immediately after, in my reaction. My stomach fell about thirty feet. I felt a little nauseous. What could only be described as panic swept over me. But wait! This is good news! Job! Yay! Not abandoning my career for which I spent four plus years and a lifetime of student loan payments! Yay! Yay? Yay.

It really drove home the extent to which my experience in this company has affected me. Refer to the handy photographic time lapse below.

Here I am as a happy-go-lucky intern. I'm ever so confident, just ready to get my foot in the door and start getting my creative on.

Here I am after my first interview for my current job. I'm so ecstatic to be so close to being not only a real, self-sufficient adult, but to making a living by creating clothing for the masses! Score!

Here I am at the amazing holiday party the company throws us each year. This year Girl Talk was even headlining. But something just isn't right. If you look closely you can almost make out in my eyes the gaping whole where my soul passion used to be.

And inevitably, like so many others before me, I was bound and broken, lying naked on the floor. Wait... that's Natalie Imbruglia.

I won't go into any more detail about the whoas of doing my time in this job, at least not in such a public forum, at least not right now, but this is some important backstory. Yes, I'm off to be with the man of my dreams. I'm not moving to Spain to get away, I'm moving there because it's our best option. But I am almost equally excited to leave this segment of life behind. Megan is right. In the grand scheme of things, it's just a fragment, a glitch really. And once I take time to recollect myself, and remind myself repeatedly that it's not like this everywhere, that there is a possibility of being content in doing what I'm doing, but for the right people, I'll be ready to embrace the opportunities that are out there. It'll be oh so interesting, for me at least, to see how that transition unfolds in this blog.


In looking through my enormous cache of photos in iPhoto, I came across so, so, SO many photos that remind me of how many good times there have been along the way. In all honesty, I believe this whole experience will have been vital in my future success, as a designer, writer, or whatever that might be!


  1. I'm happy you figured that out. You will be happy, probably more than you can possibly imagine. I can't wait to see you with the happy go lucky enthusiastic look on your face again. You deserve to enjoy life, not just live it.

  2. this is Shelly btw, somehow it came through as my work e-mail...

  3. I can not stop looking and laughing @ that pic of you with no neck. I remember when we first looked at that photo and were cracking up saying it literally looks like we'd photoshopped your face badly onto that other person's body. BAAAHAHA - NO NECK! AAAAAHHH! I loved this post. it is sounding like you're really starting to let it all summarize in your mind - and your perspective is changing. Everrrryyythings gonna be alright.

  4. Peter! I'm sorry I missed your call the other day. I haven't found time to call you back yet, but be expecting that soon (ish,....I hope, but make no promises as my schedule is ever changing).