The news itself wasn't the revelation of which I write. That came immediately after, in my reaction. My stomach fell about thirty feet. I felt a little nauseous. What could only be described as panic swept over me. But wait! This is good news! Job! Yay! Not abandoning my career for which I spent four plus years and a lifetime of student loan payments! Yay! Yay? Yay.
It really drove home the extent to which my experience in this company has affected me. Refer to the handy photographic time lapse below.
Here I am as a happy-go-lucky intern. I'm ever so confident, just ready to get my foot in the door and start getting my creative on.
Here I am after my first interview for my current job. I'm so ecstatic to be so close to being not only a real, self-sufficient adult, but to making a living by creating clothing for the masses! Score!
Here I am at the amazing holiday party the company throws us each year. This year Girl Talk was even headlining. But something just isn't right. If you look closely you can almost make out in my eyes the gaping whole where my
soul passion used to be.
I won't go into any more detail about the whoas of doing my time in this job, at least not in such a public forum, at least not right now, but this is some important backstory. Yes, I'm off to be with the man of my dreams. I'm not moving to Spain to get away, I'm moving there because it's our best option. But I am almost equally excited to leave this segment of life behind. Megan is right. In the grand scheme of things, it's just a fragment, a glitch really. And once I take time to recollect myself, and remind myself repeatedly that it's not like this everywhere, that there is a possibility of being content in doing what I'm doing, but for the right people, I'll be ready to embrace the opportunities that are out there. It'll be oh so interesting, for me at least, to see how that transition unfolds in this blog.
In looking through my enormous cache of photos in iPhoto, I came across so, so, SO many photos that remind me of how many good times there have been along the way. In all honesty, I believe this whole experience will have been vital in my future success, as a designer, writer, or whatever that might be!